What to Say When Someone Tells You They're Suicidal

September 23, 2026

When someone tells you they're thinking about suicide, it can be frightening.

You may immediately feel pressure to say the "right" thing.

You may worry about making things worse.

You may even freeze because you don't know what to say.

You don't need a perfect response.

You need a compassionate one.

Start by Staying Present

Your initial reaction can influence whether the person feels safe continuing the conversation.

Try to avoid immediately reacting with panic, anger, guilt, or judgment.

Instead, take a breath and stay present.

You might say:

"Thank you for telling me."

"I'm glad you told me."

"I'm here with you."

"You don't have to go through this by yourself."

Listen Before Trying to Solve

When someone is experiencing intense emotional pain, immediately offering advice can sometimes leave them feeling even more alone.

You don't have to convince them that everything will be okay.

You can ask:

"How long have you been feeling this way?"
"What's been happening lately?"
"Do you feel safe right now?"
"Is there someone else we can bring into this conversation?"
"Would you be willing to talk with a professional?"

Your role isn't to have every answer.

Your role can simply be to help create enough safety and connection for the person to take the next step.

Avoid Shame and Guilt

Statements such as:

"Think about how this would affect your family."

"You have so much to live for."

"Other people have it worse."

"You don't really mean that."

may come from a place of love.

But they can unintentionally increase shame or make someone less likely to open up.

Instead, acknowledge their experience without suggesting that suicide is the solution.

You might say:

"I can hear how much pain you're in, even if I don't fully understand what you're experiencing."

Take Safety Concerns Seriously

If someone is experiencing suicidal thoughts, don't assume that they're "just venting."

Ask questions.

Stay connected.

Help them access appropriate support.

If you believe someone is in immediate danger, don't leave them alone. Contact emergency services or help them access an appropriate crisis resource.

In the United States, calling or texting 988 connects people with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

Remember: You Don't Have to Do This Alone

Supporting someone who is suicidal can be emotionally overwhelming.

You are allowed to involve other people.

You are allowed to ask for help.

You are allowed to recognize that you cannot be someone's only source of support.

The goal isn't for you to become the person's therapist.

The goal is to help them move toward safety, connection, and appropriate care.

Sometimes the most important thing you can communicate is:

"I believe you. I care about you. And we're going to find some help together."

For the Deeper Work of Understanding Yourself

Supporting someone through a crisis can also remind us how important emotional awareness and connection are in our own lives.

The Keys to Felicity Workbook provides guided opportunities to explore your experiences, patterns, needs, relationships, values, and vision for your future.

It isn't designed to replace crisis care or therapy. Instead, it can be a tool for reflection and intentional personal growth.

Explore Keys to Felicity →

Want to go deeper with community?

The upcoming Keys to Felicity cohort will provide a structured 12-week group experience centered around the workbook.

If you've been wanting to understand yourself more deeply, identify patterns, reconnect with what matters to you, or become more intentional about your next chapter, you can join the interest list to receive information about the upcoming cohort.

Join the Cohort Interest List →